Avoiding Troublemakers and Difficult People “Do business with men of good character .” Such was the common advice traditionally handed down the generations from father to son, from before the days of our first president: “Associate yourself with men of good quality, if you esteem your own reputation; for ‘tis better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington Nowadays, the often-quoted maxim is that people do business with people they know, like, and trust. As a “rule” of business, the concept is well understood, especially in sales circles, and it essentially carries the same meaning as its predecessor. A reputation for being trustworthy and as someone with whom others would like to transact business is built from within one’s own good character. Honesty, integrity, and fairness are just three qualities that we and our customers look for in each other, and these relationships are built over time. “You can’t buy a good reputation; you must earn it.” – Harvey Mackay, businessman and author All wonderful stuff, but what about people that we must do business with who are NOT of impeccable character? We’ve all run into them, at one time or another. People who are in it for themselves, often for money and sometimes for credit or fame. People with major control issues, stemming from their own insecurities, greed, or an inherent inability to work with others in a partnership or as a team player. People with ingrained bad character, who are naturally “gifted” with arrogance and airs of superiority, nasty and bad-tempered, devious, hostile, genuinely disagreeable, dishonest, or just plain cruel. In entertainment, we recognize these types fairly quickly, because they’re often caricatures of what we find in real life. Think of Ebenezer Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol,” Mr. Potter from “It’s a Wonderful Life,” or Mr. Burns of “The Simpsons.” In real life, we typically don’t spot these negative or destructive individuals so easily, unless their bad reputations precede them. And that they are believed. Oftentimes, these individuals can be quite pleasant until a tipping point in their psychological makeup is reached. Or until they see an opportunity to improve their personal prospects at the expense of others. There’s the co-worker who feels threatened by more capable or talented team members and works to undermine them. The business partner who suddenly ousts minority shareholders from their start-up, just before a lucrative acquisition is announced. The prospect who enjoys making a hopeful sales team jump through virtual hoops with no intentions of buying. And the cliché – but true! – instances of the friendly boss who puts unwelcome pressure on young female employees. I’m sure that you can come up with a few examples from your own experiences. So how do we avoid them? We don’t want to assume the worst when we first meet someone. I’ve found that the old tried-and-true advice to get to know someone before “opening up” to be very helpful. I’m from the Midwest, where people may come across as reserved or “put-offish” when you first meet them, but are discovered to be sincere, friendly folks after you get to know each other. Trust and relationships take time to develop; they can’t be rushed, or you may find that they were false from the start. “A man is known by the company he keeps.” - Aesop Yes, a person’s reputation can precede them. Stay clear of those who are known to be negative in their attitudes, words, or actions, as well as those with questionable ethics. If you must work with such people, be pleasant but aware of your interactions, share only what information you must to get your job done, and be polite in dealing with them. Don’t engage in gossip or join in their negative speculations about projects, business, or for heaven’s sake, religion, money, or politics. And sometimes you need to terminate the business relationship, walk away from the deal, or even seek other employment. In a follow-up article, I talk about handling difficult people . But know that all human relationships, from personal through institutional, often suffer when dealing with individuals of bad character. When it’s a boss, expect deteriorating employee morale, poor work quality, and high employee turnover. When it’s within a buyer/customer relationship, expect unrealistic demands or timetables, poor product quality, degraded customer service, dishonest business practices, and loss of revenue. When it’s your spouse, expect unhappiness, stress, abuse, separation, and/or divorce. A business relationship, especially a partnership, is very much like a marriage: there has to be mutual trust and respect. It’s not enough for all the boxes to be checked in everything but integral decency. It’s very difficult, if not impossible, to have a mutually satisfying relationship when one party is acting from a place of bad character. It dooms personal relationships and can irreparably damage both personal and corporate reputations. One of the best ways to cultivate relationships with people of good, strong character and reputations is to develop those qualities within ourselves. Like does attract like. And people want to do business with those whom they know, like, and trust. It’s true that a business owner’s personal characteristics are imprinted on his or her business. Even the largest corporations elucidate their core values. Mission statements are formulated around those values, and in turn become part of their image and branding to the outside world. Good character and a solid reputation are built around many positive traits. Each individual will have a focus on those that are particularly meaningful to them. Highly organized people may highlight self-discipline, timeliness, reliability, and fairness. Religious individuals and institutions may value humility, honesty, faith, and service above all else. Friendly, gregarious “people persons” may lead with kindness, loyalty, consideration, and helpfulness. All wonderful qualities that serve to develop good character and positive relationships. So, to do business with people of good character: first, be a person of good character yourself. You will soon be recognized as an individual and business owner who is ethical, fair, and honest, someone who treats other people well. Enter business relationships with the assumption that others are, too, but be prepared to terminate a relationship should the opposite prove true. As another Founding Father said: “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.” – Benjamin Franklin

Playtime Isn't Just for Kids I never imagined that one day I’d become a character on a board game. Last fall, that’s exactly what I became: Karen, the wacky home decorator and fictitious employee of a national flooring retailer. The board game was part of a training series for the company’s employees. Different approaches to customer service - some appropriate and others definitely not! – were played by an assortment of characters in a variety of jobs. The training included a series of videos showing these characters’ journeys from customer service novices to accomplished public-facing employees. Well, at least the ones who weren’t fired along the way for incompetence, insubordination, or unwillingness to change entrenched old habits. The board game allowed real-life employees to become one of these characters and figure out the training challenges for themselves. It was a lot of fun, from the scripted interactions to performing for the drone-mounted camera that was flying around the showroom floor, taking it all in. More than anything, it reminded me of why I enjoyed acting to begin with … it wasn’t showtime, it was playtime! Having fun on set and being able to play is half of “the chicken and the egg” puzzle for me. A good actor never knows exactly how his or her character will react to the other people in the scene, despite the scripted lines. So much depends on the organic give and take between the scene’s characters as each tries to get what they want from the others. The life of the scene comes from the “real” moments the characters experience as they interact with one another. So one half of the puzzle is the preparation that we bring to our work: our character’s personalities, likes and dislikes, personal history, physical quirks, etc. The other half comes out while the scene is in play – the genuine reactions and nuances that’s in the spontaneity of the scene. That’s the half that I love to explore while I’m in the middle of the action on set and it brings authenticity to my work. Every character that I play has a bit of my own authentic self. That bit could be philosophical, sassy, tenacious, or any of a large number of personality traits that could be trotted out at any one time. On set, I can spin that bit of my authentic self in any number of directions, depending on my character’s personality and proclivities – many of which I can invent – and just play with the situation at hand. Oftentimes, I’ll be surprised at my reaction, but it’ll be real and believable because it’s an authentic reaction. And that all comes from the willingness to have fun and play, come what may. Many talented actors seem to be born with that inherent knowledge and ability. I think I’ve discovered it as I’ve journeyed through life. As I’ve grown in maturity and years, I’ve found that I worry less about what others think of me, how I look, whether or not I’ll be chosen for this or that gig. I’m more comfortable in my own skin. Hey, what you see is what you get! Either you like me as I am in the here and now, or you don’t. I’ll always work hard and do my best, but truthfully, either I’m the right fit for what you, as the creative director, have in mind or I’m not. It’s the same with voice over. The creatives and the corporate decision-makers (usually) know what they want and they’re all looking for the best option, often whatever best matches the vision or voice in their head for a particular project. So since we don’t know exactly what the decision-makers are looking for, let’s just give them the best version of ourselves. Who knows? It may line up with their vision. It may give them a new and better way to see that character. Or it may just go by the wayside: “nice job, but not what we’re looking for.” That’s how we audition for a given role. We read the character description, imagine the character in the scripted scene and develop intentions, motivations, and tactics to help that character get what he or she wants. We fill in the blanks ourselves, coloring the character with a personal history and perhaps experiences from our own lives. We make that character our own, and then turn it loose in the scene to act and react to every moment. In this particular case of the interior designer, I built upon the specs of a middle-aged decorator who’s tired of running her own business and just wants to be an employee, enjoying helping retail customers choose the best flooring designs for their home remodeling projects. The scenes were a bit funny, so I chose to skew her in a wacky, fun-loving direction, and just had a great time filming the taped audition. Fortunately, the client liked my vision for Karen and I was able to explore this free-wheeling character as she assisted the store’s customers, happy that she was free from the administrative duties that had formerly taken too much of her time away from the creative process she loved. It was a great experience from start to finish. Now if I can only get a peek at that board game…. 

Choosing to Find Humor Where It's Least Expected If laughter is medicine, then maybe a good dose of Monty Python's gloriously silly humor is just what we need in 2020 to lighten things up. So many great movies and TV sketches to choose from, but I think we could all use a little wry humor, as in their song " Always look on the Bright Side of Life ." We're experiencing what can seem like a modern version of the ten plagues. We have a pandemic, civil unrest and societal upheaval, rioting and looting, earthquakes, destructive hurricanes, record high unemployment, psychological fallout from months of quarantine (depression, anxiety, rising spousal and child abuse), bankruptcies, murder hornets, and dangerously unsustainable national debt. Gulp. Lots to worry about and for very good reason. It makes me think of R.E.M.'s " It's the End of the World " - a great song, by the way. Yeah, everything seems to be going wrong; what are you going to do about it? But rather than wallow in our problems, I prefer to work towards the positive and try to see the absurdities in these situations. Yes, by all means, right the wrongs that can be corrected, deal with nature's challenges as best we can, and manage the emotional ups and downs we're all experiencing with clear and rational thinking. Remind ourselves that just as all good things come to an end, so do the bad. We know we'll eventually get through this. Humor helps us through even the most painful, trying times of life. I recently read Let There Be Laughter by Michael Krasny, a wonderfully funny book about great Jewish humor, where it came from, and what it all means. Jewish humor is based on centuries of living through pogroms, prejudice, and attempts at genocide, as well as the immigrant experience, and the fears, anxieties, and even pride that accompanies it. We see it throughout modern entertainment, as so many Jewish comedians and TV writers took this cultural pain and spun it on its head and into their stories of American life. Once a coping mechanism, now a release mechanism. So, while I'm not a comedienne or even particularly funny (I'm not!), I thought I'd take a sideways look at this whole mask business. The mask has become the symbol for the Covid experience. It doesn't matter if you're for or against them. It now represents so many divergent ideologies and arguments about individual freedoms, compliance for the sake of a greater good, personal or financial sacrifices by necessity vs. choice, the state of healthcare today and where it's going, etc. OK, enough with the serious, how about a wry observation or two? Here are a few of mine. The Cosmetic & Skincare Industries Masks are just killing the lipstick industry. I mean, REALLY! No point wearing lipstick, no one can see your lips, and that lovely color you normally love to wear will just stain the inside of your mask anyways. As if retailers aren't suffering enough. Come to think of it, masks aren't doing much for the cosmetic industry as a whole. Even for those who venture out of the house once in a while, the mask covers the lower half of the face, so what's the point of bothering much with makeup? And it's certainly a non-issue for those still hanging out at home in their PJs or sweats or who have nowhere they need to go. A boon to women everywhere who spend a lot of time each day just fixing up before heading out the door. On the other hand, especially for teens who may be going to school all day in masks, it's been a boost to the skincare business, particularly for treating acne. In a sterile environment, such as during a surgical procedure, the mask is supposed to be changed every time it is touched by an unsterile object, such as a finger. During the long school day, kids adjust their masks and touch their faces multiple times, even if it's just to free themselves to eat and drink. Bacteria breeds on these masks and, exacerbated by the lack of fresh air circulating directly onto teens' faces, acne becomes a problem. Dental Care ... or the Lack of It How many people will be less concerned with bad breath or food stuck in their teeth? Those little disposable flossers that we used to find littered everywhere, well, they've become rather scarce. And chances are that teeth aren't being brushed as often as they should. Let's not even talk about bad breath once the mask comes off. A Boon to Women of a Certain Age Wearing a mask is like wearing a face veil. Just not as pretty or - for those of us raised on stories of Scheherazade - having the same sense of mystery and allure. But the mask can do wonders at hiding signs of aging: fine lines, sagging skin, brown spots, and the like. Voila! Play up the eyes and pretend you look ageless, "dahling....." Forget Facial Recognition It does not work. Period. Facial recognition software on your smart phone was designed to identify your unique features even when you wear sunglasses. But an opaque face mask? Sorry. You'll have to manually enter your password or slip your mask below your nose for it to work. Another challenge for Apple. A New Fashion Accessory OK, we women are staying mostly comfy cozy while we nest (and work) from home. Most of us are wearing the same old things; except for the occasional Zoom meeting, there's not much need to dress up. And then it's usually only on our top half. Few opportunities to enjoy trotting a favorite bag, shoes, or special outfit ... assuming we like to dress up. Most trips to the grocery store, pharmacy, and the like are made in very casual clothes. But ... now we are required to wear masks everywhere. Home-based crafters are creating beautiful masks out of all types of fabrics and materials. It may rank as an all-time favorite fashion accessory, but the face mask is something new by which we can express ourselves. Some people are wearing masks to show their individuality, affiliations, and personal beliefs. Just be aware that if you're wearing something with a political statement, you may get punched in the nose by someone who disagrees with you. Well, at least you have a nice handy piece of cloth to wipe up the blood. Another Way to Be of Service Masks give us more opportunities to be of assistance to others. My sister is a hospital social worker and when she and other healthcare first responders were first required to report to work in-person, they were expected to provide their own masks. Masks of any kind were in very short supply at that time, so these healthcare workers, who were already putting in great amounts of overtime, had one more thing to worry about it. It felt great to do my small part to scrounge around and send a nice package of masks to my sister. This isn't directly related to masks, but the pandemic has offered so many ways to be of help to the elderly, those with compromised immune systems or other health issues, or anyone just fearful of venturing into public places. Like others, I've been helping an elderly couple down the street with their grocery shopping, providing a bit of socialization when I stop by to chat a few minutes while unloading their items. We've grown closer, each of us enjoying getting to know the other a lot better, sharing in our respective families' news, and just keeping an eye out for each other. Halloween - It's Gonna Be Frightful Who knows what Halloween will look like this year? Forget about costume parties, but hopefully the kids will still be able to enjoy trick-or-treating. Of course, the teenagers will have a better excuse to ring doorbells looking for candy long after the little ones have gone to bed. This year, they'll actually have a mask on - instant costume: the year 2020 - to accompany their pillowcases. Kids won't have to worry about wearing face masks. They can just don the regular Halloween mask that comes with their costume and voila! they're covered. Literally. And here's a scary Halloween costume idea: run around with no mask. Guaranteed to send people screaming as they run away in fear. Should provide more reaction than wearing a Halloween mask with the face of a Presidential candidate.

Spinning a Positive Narrative on a Depressing Situation I’m an optimist. I don’t recall always being so, but I’ve always liked the adage that “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It’s not always easy, especially when things seem to be spinning out of control, uncertainty rules, and the bad news piles up. Like current events today. Still, I’m pretty optimistic and I’ve taught my kids to look for the good in even a nasty situation. I’ve heard it said that people become more positive-minded as they age. There must be something to it, and I think it has to do with gaining perspective with the years, learning to weather the tough times, and cultivating an attitude of gratitude. 2020 has given plenty of opportunities to test that theory, and it’s held true, at least for me. So here’s my list of things of silver linings that I’ve discovered during this seemingly never-ending Great Shutdown: 1. During the last few months of the 2019-2020 school year, I didn’t have to spend a good part of the day driving my daughter to/from school and activities. This is a big one, because I figured I might as well have slapped a big yellow sign on the side of my car proclaiming “Mom Taxi.” Also saved gas and wear and tear on my car. 2. I was able to sleep in later on school days (see no. 1). Hallelujah! Now that it’s summer, I can still sleep in a bit, though I’m trying not to turn into the complete night owl I seem to be naturally designed to be. 3. While I’ve been cooking dinner every night (NOT part of the silver lining list), at least I’m not rushing home doing so, pressed for time. (Again, see no. 1.) So my overall mood is better, too. And that’s much better for everyone. What’s the saying? “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Aint’ it the truth. 4. I’ve had time to really work on updating the tools of my voice over business: website, client management system, demos, marketing, etc. All of which would have taken much longer to accomplish had this pandemic never been. Of course, many clients have dramatically slowed down their work, too, so there’s been less demand for voice over services, but … oh, well. Still good stuff. 5. Many of my favorite workout instructors have been generously offering their classes on-line. Thank goodness! I’ve always been full of energy and have to exercise every day without going nuts. Maybe when I’m an octogenarian, I’ll slow down. Maybe. In the meantime, I’m loving the fact that I can still get in some great exercise without dealing with traffic to get to my favorite group classes. And I get to sleep in a bit longer! (See no. 2. I love my sleep…) 6. I’ve discovered - and cleaned up - the dirt and dust under my bedroom furniture, where I’ve been getting a good eyeful of it every time I use my exercise mat for said workouts. Probably not the most exciting thing in the world to be doing, but I feel so much better looking at a clean floor, which I can’t really avoid doing when I’m doing those push-ups and sit-ups. 7. Atlanta enjoyed one of the most gorgeous springs I’ve ever experienced here. What a pleasure to be outside! I appreciate watching nature move through the seasons: the unfolding of new leaves and the gorgeous blossoms of camellias, azaleas, and dogwoods, followed by roses and the summer flowers. Of course, now we’re fully in “Hot-lanta” mode, with temps in the 90s and humidity nearly to match. Not so pleasant. And I suspect that we’re all going have the dubious pleasure of still being pretty much at home as we eventually move into the fall. But – and here’s that optimism again – autumn is the most glorious time of year in Atlanta. Can’t wait for the lower, but still warm, temperatures, brilliantly blue skies, and low humidity! Being able to enjoy and appreciate it that much more is definitely a silver lining for me. 8. I’m seeing neighbors I haven’t seen in a long time, or had never met before, while walking around the neighborhood. And everyone’s outside! Well, not as much as in the spring when the weather was just about perfect, but still enough to feel like I’m living in a neighborhood with sights and sounds that remind me of growing up in Cleveland way back when: kids on bikes, families hanging out in their front yards, small children running through sprinklers, and people enjoying long walks together. And I feel like I’m better connecting with my neighbors, especially the elderly couple down the street whom I’ve been helping with their grocery shopping while they self-quarantine. Helping one another certainly makes us feel good, too. 9. Along these lines, I’m also getting a kick at seeing my daughter and her friends rediscover the simple pleasures that I remember growing up. They may be disappointed at not being able to hang around the mall, but they’re having socially-distanced picnics, biking riding in the parks together, going on walks, and visiting each other in their backyards. They’re outside, enjoying each other’s company, and having truly human experiences. Not that shopping isn’t a human experience, especially for teen girls, but they’re even realizing how much fun they can have without needing to spend money. 10. Spend time, not money. Yes! And there’s been much more time to spend with immediate family members, too. We’re actually all getting along pretty well. Yeah. Most of the time. An added benefit has been having my son home from college. Yes, I am so disappointed for him that his last few months of college were abruptly cut off, including his graduation, and all the celebrations we’d planned as a family. But the silver lining is having him at home for longer than I’d ever expected. He’s now working virtually from our house in his new job. Hopefully soon, he’ll be able to move to his new city and establish himself truly as an independent adult, but for now I’m loving having him around. 11. Some of the tributes to our first responders and health care workers have been awe-inspiring. A few months ago, the Blue Angels put on quite an air show and criss-crossed over our neighborhood several times within fifteen minutes as they flew in formation around the city. Such a treat! And what a wonderful way to demonstrate how much we all appreciate the work of doctors, nurses, and other medical staff. 12. A bit tongue in cheek, but it occurs to me that I’m acquiring some amazing memories that I’ll no doubt exaggerate when telling stories about this pandemic one day to my future grandkids. Just like my own grandfather did when he was a boy selling newspapers on the corner. (With every telling, he became younger, the bullies older and more numerous, and the odds against him greater. Whatever the truth was, at least we know he survived to become a grandfather.) As we go forward, I’ll continue to knock on wood and be grateful that we’re all still healthy. I wish the same to you and yours. And let’s hope that this very soon will become a distant memory.

Warm and Healthy Comfort Food It's a cool, rainy day here in Atlanta, the sort of weepy weather that make you yearn for something warm and satisfying. One of my favorite go-to soups, when I'm looking for something pretty easy to make with ingredients I usually have at home, is this Herbed Tomato-Vegetable Soup. The vegetables and seasonings elevate it beyond plain old tomato soup into a delicious pairing with salad and warm bread. It also makes a terrific appetizer course before a main meal. Enjoy! Herbed Tomato-Vegetable Soup Ingredients 1 medium onion, chopped (1/2 cup) 2 tablespoons butter or margarine 4 cups water 1 28-ounce can tomatoes, cut up or 2 1/2 pounds fresh tomatoes, peeled and chopped (4 cups) 2 medium carrots, thinly sliced (1 cup) 2 stalks celery, chopped (1 cup) 1 tablespoon instant vegetable or chicken bouillon granules 1 teaspoon sugar 1 teaspoon dried basil, crushed 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed 1/4 teaspoon dried savory, crushed 1/8 teaspoon ground mace 1/8 teaspoon pepper (optional: few dashes bottled hot pepper sauce) Directions In a large saucepan, cook the onions in butter or margarine until tender, but not brown. Stir in water, undrained tomatoes, carrots, celery, bouillon granules, sugar, basil, salt, thyme, savory, mace, pepper, and hot pepper sauce. Bring to boiling. Reduce heat; cover and simmer about 40 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Makes 8 servings.

Plenty of Time to Get Cooking and Feed Body and Soul Like so many others, I've had a little too much time at home these past few months, what with a pandemic raging around the world and everyone pretty much quarantined in place. What better time than to sharpen culinary skills and infuse the house with the smells of home cooking? OK, maybe that's not your cup of tea, but I had a field day! I've been a vegetarian cook for most of my life. Not that you would have expected it from my childhood kitchen table, where it was pretty much meat and potatoes most nights. But after four years of college dining featuring some sort of questionable "mystery meat" and the sudden responsibility to fend for myself, I discovered something about myself. I didn't really like meat. Never did. Didn't crave it, didn't miss it. Instead, I found myself wandering through these amazing farmer's markets, admiring incredibly fresh local produce and discovering wonderful, unusual international foods. And I loved it! I began acquiring spices from around the world and cookbooks with easy-to-follow vegetarian recipes from Mediterranean, middle Eastern, Indian, and Asian cuisines, and was soon cranking out the most yummy smelling and tasting dinners. This Armenian vegetable casserole is one of my favorites. It's relatively easy to make: just chop up the veggies and bake for a few hours. The aroma fills the house and smells as good as it tastes. Both meat eaters and vegetarians love it - it's terrific as a main course and works beautifully the next day as a side dish for burgers, fish, or other entree. I make it year-round. Wintertime, I pair it with my herbed tomato-vegetable soup (shared in an earlier post). In summer, it's great with corn-on-the-cob and watermelon. Anytime of the year, it's fantastic when preceded with a glass of wine and followed up with something chocolate! Makes staying at home a bit more pleasant. I hope you enjoy my casserole as much as I do. Armenian Vegetable Casserole Serve in wide soup bowls with a mound of yogurt on top to melt down into the marvelous juices! 1/2 pound green beans 1 medium size (about 1 lb) eggplant, unpeeled, and cut into 1 inch cubes 2 large onions, cut into 1 inch cubes 3 medium size carrots, cut into 3/4 inch thick slanting slices 2 large stalks celery, cut into 1/2 inch thick slices 1 large red or green bell pepper , seeded, cut into 1 inch squares 2 large thin-skinned potatoes, peeled and cut into 1 1/2 inch cubes 1 can (about 1 lb) pear-shaped tomatoes 1/4 cup olive oil or salad oil 1/2 cup catsup About 2 teaspoons salt 1 1/2 teaspoons each sugar and dry basil 1/4 teaspoon pepper 3 small zucchini 1 cup plain yogurt Snap off ends of green beans and cut into 2 inch lengths. Combine in a 5 quart or larger casserole (I use a Dutch oven) with eggplant, onions, carrots, celery, bell pepper, and potatoes. Drain juice from tomatoes into casserole. Chop tomatoes and add to casserole. Chop tomatoes and add to casserole, along with olive oil, catsup, salt, sugar, basil, and pepper. Stir gently. Cover casserole and bake in a 350 degree oven for 1 1/2 hours or until vegetables are almost tender, removing lid and basting vegetables with juices about every 30 minutes. Meanwhile, remove ends of zucchini and cut into 1/2 inch slices. Remove casserole from oven and gently mix in the zucchini. Return to over and bake uncovered for 20 to 30 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Serve hot or at room temperature with a generous spoonful of yogurt on each serving. Makes 8 servings.

Tactics and Tests of Patience “Difficult people are the greatest teachers” – Pema Chödrön, American Tibetan Buddhist Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we go out looking for them. Yet all too often they seem to have a way of finding us. By and large, most people whom you encounter throughout your day are the fairly decent and reasonable sort. If we treat them as we ourselves would like to be treated, we will get along rather well. Most of us just want to be heard, appreciated for our hard work, and shown respect. When there is a conflict, ideally we will listen to one another, learn the other’s perspective, find common ground, and work together towards a mutually beneficial solution. Of course, it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes people are difficult, if not downright impossible, to work with. So how do we best handle them, especially if in a work situation we have no other choice? There are a number of options, depending on the circumstances. But first, ask ourselves WHY are they difficult? Could it be due to stress or illness? If so, hopefully their situation is temporary and can be resolved with understanding and a little bit of time. With some, however, it could just be the person’s inherent nature to be contrary and uncooperative, in which case what you experience is what you’re always going to get - and it’s probably not going to change any time soon. There are a number of tactics you can use when dealing with a difficult person. First and foremost, start with yourself. Yes, self-discipline can go a long away if the combative individual is looking to start an argument. Stay calm. Your demeanor may de-escalate the situation right then and there. It’s harder to rail against someone who doesn’t engage in a shouting match. Eventually, the other person will run out of steam, feel that they were heard (and by everyone within shouting distance), and had made their point. They may be more receptive to a true conversation after venting. Understand the other person’s intentions . You may not always know what is going on in someone else’s life, but sometimes the clues are there in the way you’ve seen them go about their work or interact with others. Really listen to what they say; most people will appreciate the effort. Behavior is often triggered for a reason, and if we can see a pattern or know some history, we can better understand where they’re coming from. Explain your position. Understanding the reasoning behind your position may help the other person understand where you’re coming from and thereby defuse the situation. This is the inverse of the earlier suggestion to try to understand the other person’s intentions. Focus not on personal qualities but on what can be achieved together. Focus on the goal and a mutually beneficial solution, or at least a resolution that meets the other person halfway. Keep the conversation on the overall objective without devolving into remarks about each other’s behavior. Revisiting unresolved past difficulties and stirring up negative feelings is not going to help you resolve today’s problem. Don’t be defensive, listen to them. This can be most challenging, especially if accusations of bad judgement or other disparaging remarks are lobbed at you throughout your “conversation.” Stay calm, as mentioned earlier, show them that you’re actively listening, and oftentimes you’ll have the opportunity to present your side of the story. But … sometimes none of this works. In that case, here are a few ways of taking more direct action and slaying, no, re-training the dragon. (No need to unnecessarily upset PETA.) Manage Accommodate the person in such a way to assuage their ego, while removing the obstacle they present. It’s giving something to get something. I’ll give two examples. The first occurred while my husband and I were negotiating the purchase of our home from the builder, who saw himself more as a craftsman than a homebuilder/businessman. He was also a very difficult person to deal with, changing minor terms and conditions on us, and butting heads with my husband until I stepped in to sincerely compliment his artistic taste and fine craftsmanship. I think that’s what he truly wanted to hear, because he immediately became easier to work with and we closed the sale. A second example came from early in my corporate career when I was the junior member of a two-person team charged with pioneering a new systems design methodology throughout our company. The senior person saw our teamwork as a rivalry and went out of her way to undermine my credibility and convince management to give her the choice international assignments. I tried talking and working with her on joint projects, but nothing changed. So, I switched tactics and added her name as co-author to an article I was writing for our company’s engineering journal about the methodology and its successes. She was totally taken aback by the gesture; the credit gave her the authority and recognition she was seeking, and she immediately backed down and became easier to work with. And I got the European assignment I was angling for. Avoid Most people just want to be heard, but some are given to subjecting others to endless complaints, gossip, or even diatribes against someone or something that they believe has done them wrong. In this case, I do my best to ignore or avoid them altogether. If you’re in a work or family situation where this is not possible, be cordial, but still distance yourself. Establish boundaries of how and when you must interact with them. If they challenge you or press you for an explanation, tell the offending individual that you don’t engage in gossip, that you prefer to focus on the positives rather than the troubles in life, or that you have to get back to work or some other duty. I’ve found that a little nod or smile in acknowledgement, a brief greeting, and a quick “excuse me” often does the trick. Walk away Some people will just not be ignored. Especially those who are in a power of authority over you. If you can’t simply avoid or manage the, you’ll need to take more direct action if you don’t want to remain in a toxic environment. Sometimes that means leaving a job. A software company I worked for was acquired by a much larger corporation with a less than sterling reputation in the industry. The internal climate soon proved intolerable. The branch manager was a micro-manager to an extreme degree and given to sudden outbursts of temper and irrationality. He could not be reasoned with, corporate executive staff was slow to intervene, and people left in droves. The company lost many valuable employees who saw no other option than to walk away Fight Sometimes you just have to stand your ground, fight an adversary in court or a bully on the playground, and demonstrate your strength and resilience. There are those difficult individuals who respect nothing less and will not back down without a confrontation. If you go this route, prepare for battle: gather the pertinent facts and evidence, line up your allies, prepare your arguments and strategies, and determine how far you can and are willing to go in this fight. It’s also good to develop an exit strategy if things are not going your way. Have a back-up plan and alternative goals if you need to broker an agreement or find a means to escape. Appease/Give In In a confrontation, no one likes to be in the weaker position with little to no available favorable options. Occasionally, concessions have to be made to keep an aggressive power at bay in the hopes of attaining peace or an acceptable resolution. In this case, there is no win-win for both parties; one side is far stronger or more influential than the other and does not need to give anything to the weaker party to conclude the matter. When the difficult person is in a position of power and you have little hope of prevailing, but much to lose by taking them on, you may decide that it’s just not in your best interests to pursue the matter any further. Part of choosing your battles wisely is knowing your breaking point and how much you are willing to lose or ultimately concede, if you don’t come out on top. Perhaps pursuing the matter is just not worth the time and effort you’ll need to spend on it, and it prevents you from doing something more productive or enjoyable. I have a relative who was recently in this exact situation. Yes, he could have taken a business partner to court, spending quite a lot of money, time, and effort to secure a fairer settlement, but doing so would have prevented him from moving forward with more lucrative and satisfying projects. And in the process, his life would be made more complicated and miserable than the dispute was worth to him. It was better for him to concede the point than to further engage a partner who was revealed to be a very difficult and unreasonable person. Distract The old toddler tactic! Or if you’ve seen the movie “Up,” you’ll know the reference. Redirect the difficult person with a change of conversation, a relevant question that they’ll want to answer, or something more interesting to focus on. It works to keep a small child from danger: distract a curious toddler away from the pot boiling on the stove with a toy or activity, like banging a wooden spoon against different sized plastic bowls. Threaten Once in a while, you may be in a position where you feel at risk. Hopefully, you’re never alone in an unsafe area – there’s safety in numbers, even in this time of proper social distancing. Don’t cower in fear or play the victim, that only signals that to the perpetrator that you are easy prey. If possible, call or signal for help and move to a safer, more populated area as quickly as you can. I’m a small, petite woman who’s been aggressively approached a few times in malls, streets, and even online. Once, I discovered my little girl was being stalked online in a children’s chess competition forum by an aggressive adult man. You can bet that Mama Bear was not afraid to respond with strength: I called the FBI, who succeeded in tracking down the perpetrator. For myself, I’ve turned around to fiercely confront guys, telling them point blank to back down and leave me alone. (Fortunately, always in public places where a loud, forceful tone proved to be effective.) The same applies to online stalkers, plus you have the ability to block and sometimes report them. But use threats judiciously and with common sense; too many aggressors are packing or may have accomplices hidden from view. For instances in more subdued and less dangerous business settings, it may be enough to tell the difficult person that management will be informed of their behavior if it continues or that they will be held accountable for violating company policy (if that applies). I wouldn’t call to their face such an action a threat, but more of a promise or a natural consequence of their actions to restore proper professional behavior. If you’re in management, never threaten an employee, no matter how difficult the person. Follow company guidelines to warn them of their mistakes, perhaps place them on probation, guide them towards proper business etiquette, and clearly explain the consequences if they don’t self-correct within a defined time period. Self Care You are less likely to be drawn into a negative exchange when your physical and emotional defenses are at 100%. Get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthy foods, and drink plenty of water during the day. Most of us are pretty aware that insufficient sleep can leave us cranky, sluggish, and temperamental. But emotional stress builds when we become dehydrated, too, so don’t wait until you’re very thirsty before reaching for that water bottle. Mentally, emotionally, or physically … assaults are best defended against when you’re well protected. Difficult people may not number among our favorite teachers in life, but we CAN mitigate the damage they cause, and thereby improve our own characters in the process. Disclaimer: No dragons were harmed in the process of creating this blog.

Like Life, Creative People Always Find a Way Leave it to creative people to take an event like Covid 19 – which upends everything! – and find a way to make it work for them. The film and TV industry has taken the shutdown on the chin. It shares that unfortunate distinction with restaurants, bars, movie theaters, cruise lines, airlines, hotels, live theater! – all of which rely on employing or servicing large groups of people in close proximity for an extended period of time. Unlike many businesses, which have found ways for employees to work from home (more or less productively), the on-camera world relies on its cast and crew members to be physically present. All productions abruptly shut down when it became apparent around the world that we were dealing with a virulent pandemic that would not be going away within a few weeks. Common knowledge led us to think that we would be looking at a 14 day shutdown at most. Well, as we now know all too well, that has stretched out to a minimum of 14 weeks in most states, and even longer in some. Five months later and with some lockdowns still in place, and restrictions just about everywhere else, business in ANY field is far from normal. And may be so at least through the end of 2020. The Great Shutdown. The Lost Year. Indeed. But creative people look outside of the box for work-arounds to these restrictions, and the results have been inspiring. TV commercials were the first to begin casting and filming. Scripts that called for groups of people to interact while celebrating with the client product were cleverly rewritten to be shot piecemeal, either in an actor’s home or on set under strict Covid-mandated health guidelines. Stories featured people being interviewed and lending their opinions, driving by the original action and calling out their endorsements, or video that was narrated by a remote voiceover actor. Many of the more recent commercial projects are actively looking for people who have been quarantining together, thereby mitigating a large risk of infection through personal interaction. Castings request real-life couples, families, roommates, and others who share a household or who otherwise are in such close contact that they might as well be living under one roof. My teen daughter and I have actually enjoyed auditioning together for these projects! Like many in the Southeast, where self-taped auditions have been commonplace for years, we have our own studio setup with a camera, tripod, lights, microphone, and backdrop. We also know how to edit and upload our recorded scenes to the appropriate casting sites. The learning curve has been much steeper for actors in other parts of the country where they were accustomed to in-person auditons for most projects. But there's lots of help on-line, if you don't know where to start. Google "self-tape auditions" and you can find plenty of articles and video, like this one from Backstage. SAG-AFTRA film and TV sets that have resumed filming are operating under strict and extensive new guidelines to ensure everyone’s health on set, with frequent testing of all cast and crew for Covid 19. Tyler Perry , always in a league of his own, surpassed just about everybody in the industry by creating a quarantine “bubble” – a residential community on the grounds of his studio, repurposing existing barracks and historic houses from the time the site was an active Army base, and building new homes. All crew, actors, and anyone connected with production reside on his property while shooting. Mr. Perry, who writes all his own scripts and directs all his films and TV shows, is highly efficient and shoots very quickly. The entire upcoming season of “Sistas” was filmed within a few weeks in July, and new episodes of “The Oval” began in early August. Back-to-back shoots of his BET+ series, “Bruh” and “Ruthless,” are scheduled to begin soon afterwards. He’s been a role model for the whole industry! Non-union productions, too, are taking precautions, but they make their own non-binding guidelines, which may or not be followed. Experienced non-union actors have been leery of these sets for the most part. In their favor, however, many of these productions are working with small crews and fewer actors per scene than originally scripted. It’s up to the actors and crew members who choose to participate to assess the risks themselves, based on the information that the production provides, and then hope for voluntary compliance. No outside agency will be enforcing SAG-AFTRA rules on a non-union set. There is some collateral career damage - well, call it a setback - for two distinct groups of actors. Older actors, specifically those over 65, will be sitting on the sidelines for some time to come. Not only are productions rewriting plot lines that would have naturally included older characters, but the actors themselves are well-advised to keep themselves away from potentially risky, crowded environments. The other group is the very young, children and teens under age 18. While this age group is less likely to contract the coronavirus or experience severe symptoms, they each come to set with a parent or guardian and require an on-set teacher, too. If a young actor were to be tested and possibly quarantined for an extended period on set, then all these extra people would have to be, too, and the costs and points of possible exposure to the virus go up. The hours per day on set are increasing with the extra precautions, but kids and teens are still limited to the same number of active work hours, potentially leaving too little time each day to shoot the necessary footage involving these young actors. Plus, kids and teens are likely have been exposed to more people who may have contracted Covid 19, considering the greater number of their personal interactions through extended family, friend groups, school population, sports or extra-curricular activity. Emancipated minors can be treated as adults without the extra supervision, but more often than not, the production will choose a more mature young adult to play a teen role, especially if the cast is to be quarantined prior to and/or during production. We’ll get through this “unprecedented time” (haven’t you grown to detest this phrase?!), but for many in the performing arts, 2020 will certainly be counted a lost year as they consider their careers. At least for those working in TV, film, and commercials, there are workable options. (The same can’t be said for those performing on stage, as they are presumably shut down completely until all this is OVER.) There’ll come the day when the crisis is declared past. Just watch productions gear up in response to months and months of pent-up demand! Until then, we and our creative friends will just have to think a little further outside the box. No doubt, plenty of us will find innovative ways to work within our restrictive Covid-induced bubble.

Quick Fixes on the Fly Things go wrong. Usually when it’s least convenient or most costly for them to do so. It’s called Murphy’s Law: “ Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." But that doesn’t mean problems have to take us totally out of the game – they can be anticipated and often averted with some preparation and backup planning. At a minimum, the damage can be mitigated. Let’s talk about a few situations that more than one voice actor has to deal with: Case #1: The Lost Internet Connection . Always a fun situation, especially when it happens right before or during a client-directed session. That’s what happened to me at the end of last year; my mostly reliable internet service went down throughout the entire neighborhood, due to a tree branch felling the cable line. Ah, the hazards of working from home and being dependent upon only yourself as your one-person IT department. Naturally, it happened just before an on-line client-directed session with a well-known international conglomerate based overseas. The very first time I worked with them, when I was looking to make a great first impression. The internet tanked less than an hour before our scheduled session, complete with the production studio’s clients (the international conglomerate end-users) driving some distance to guide the session. Calls to the internet provider revealed by recorded message that they were aware of the problem, that it affected my surrounding area, and that it would be a few hours until service was restored. So what do you do when this happens? In my case, I couldn’t tether to my cell phone to access 5G via its hotspot because my studio is partially underground and can’t receive an outside signal. Great for sound proofing, not so helpful when I need an alternative internet access point. On to Plan B: I got on the phone and called several local studios to see if I could record in their spaces. No such luck; they all were totally booked up. That left Plans C and D, which left egg on my face, but which offered the only honest solutions. I contacted the client to tell him what happened and offered two options: I could either record on my own and send them the files to critique and redo as necessary or we could reschedule the session. We were about to reschedule when suddenly, fortuitously!, internet service was restored and our session was back on, albeit 30 minutes later than originally planned. To offset their inconvenience and demonstrate good will, I gave them a good discount off my fee, since the technical problem was on my end. Case #2: Outside Noise Interference . Again, a hazard of a home studio, which is why this problem can often be avoided by recording during non-daylight hours: early, early morning, late at night, etc. Outside noise covers everything from a neighbor’s lawnmower to children and others in the household raising a bit of a racket, more commonplace during this time of Covid home-schooling and spouses working from home. In my recent case, this was caused by a neighbor’s landscape service cutting down a very large tree. Of course, this began an hour before another client-directed session, so I couldn’t just try recording at a later time. The incredibly loud, vibrating clamor of their equipment penetrated everything in the immediate vicinity, including my partially underground, sound-treated studio. Nothing I could do but pray that the workers would take a lunch break during my session. Again, I told the client what was happening, and they were very understanding. After all, they (like so many others!) were working from home, too, and they were dealing with some outside noises, as well; at least one person’s young child could be clearly heard from another room. I checked and told them that the noise floor wasn’t too badly affected, but that I would be willing to reschedule the session or re-record on my own later if any background sound was detected. And then, lo and behold, my prayers were answered and the tree service people stopped their work long enough for us to record. What lessons can be learned from this? First, as the voice actor, make sure that you’re working in a broadcast-quality studio that’s properly treated. It may not be totally sound-proof against unusually loud outside noise, but it can go a long way to ensuring a good sound floor. Second, prayer works! Third, appreciate even more those good-natured clients who are willing to take these things in stride and understand that some things just happen and are out of our control. And finally, be thankful to the powers that be that everything worked out as it should. Case #3: Forget To Start Recording . How embarrassing! This happens to almost all VO talent at some point in their careers, usually when they’re first getting started. Do it once and you’ll probably never do it again. What should you do if this happens to you? Hopefully, you will catch it almost immediately so that little time is wasted. If you’re recording on your own, nothing is lost but your time. Re-record and no one’s the wiser. If this happens during a client session, just admit the mistake. First takes often sound like warm-up takes and are unlikely to be a client’s favorite, so usually little is lost and the client may even laugh it off with you. Continue with the rest of the session – I guarantee you’ll be sure to keep an eye on your recording software from then on! Case #4: Illness, Allergies, or Hoarseness . Ah, winter time is often the season of the Lost Voice or the Voice Temporarily Out Of Service. Prevent compromised or lost voices with plenty of old-fashioned care: drink lots of water at least two hours before recording, get plenty of rest, wash your hands frequently to reduce catching or transmitting viruses – we’re old hands now (so to speak) with proper sanitization, due to long months of dealing with Covid. Hot tea with lemon or – my favorite! – Throat Coat tea, are also wonderful to have on hand. But sometimes, preparation is just not enough. This happened with me last November when I was scheduled to record my new commercial demo. A persistent cough and loss of vocal strength persisted for weeks and I had to reschedule the recording several times. I could do short jobs, but not a full hour-long session. Sometimes it can work to your advantage. Once, when I had a bit of hoarseness, I recorded an audition for a popular restaurant chain … and my agent later told me that I had been shortlisted for the national commercial. What I would have done to regain that vocal tone if I had booked it … well, that’s another story, but I got a kick out of knowing that my unexpectedly raspy voice was a good fit for what the client envisioned. What do you do when you are sick or you’re just out of vocal commission, and the client must have that recording without delay? If the client has a firm deadline, they may need to go to another talent. If you can, be a resource to them and recommend someone whose voiceprint or style is similar to your own. While you may lose that particular job, the client will appreciate the referral and could be more willing to come back to you for future bookings. This idea of being a resource to your client extends to more than just recommending a replacement. Network with other voice actors so that you can refer your client to others with special skills that you may not have, such as particular accents, character voices, or kid voices. If you’re a woman and they need a male voice, suggest a few good talents for them to check out. Or if they’re looking for a production studio, be a resource to both parties and provide an introduction. Now you’re seen as more than just a voice actor – you’re also a problem solver! Case #5: Your Equipment Dies . Yikes. Again, Murphy’s Law will dictate that this happens at the most inopportune time. Prepare for these potential catastrophes by having backups on hand. Or know how to procure them in a hurry. Have a backup mic available, or perhaps an older computer that is loaded with your recording and editor software to take the place of your usual computer that just died and turned into an expensive paperweight. You can never tell when disaster will strike. When I was traveling overseas last summer, my computer’s keyboard and track pad stopped working the moment I arrived at my hotel. I never discovered what caused it or why it happened when it did. The computer worked perfectly on the plane, it was never dropped but always carried in its case, and it was only a few years old. Instead of a little sight-seeing, my first trip in this new city was to a computer supply store to purchase a European style keyboard (I had external mouse). The setup was clunky and my Mac didn’t recognize this particular keyboard, but after an hour on the phone with Apple, we were able to patch up a fix for the several weeks until I returned home. Yup, sometimes you just have to do the best you can with what you have and hope for the best. I’m by nature an optimist, but that hasn’t proven to be the magic formula to ward away Murphy and his pesky Law. So, I’ve developed instead a rather practical philosophy: prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Think ahead of what my work requires and make sure that it’s all in good working order and ready to go. That includes providing for my optimal health, as well my recording space and equipment. It also extends to warming up my voice prior to a session, knowing the client’s script and expectations, working out all the terms of our agreement and pricing before even scheduling the session, and being able to quickly deliver the voice over files after the session in the format the client needs. Preparation always includes having a positive attitude! Whether working alone or in a directed session, clients pick up on the voice actor’s mood and attitude through the reads. And if you’re seeing one another via Zoom or Skype, the visual cues are there, too. Show you’re a professional through and through; have pencil and note paper around to mark client re-direction or changes. And have lots of water on hand – stay hydrated before and during a session. If you’re using Source Connect, ipDTL, or really any other connectivity tool, use an ethernet cable directly to your router for an optimal internet connection. Wi-Fi can be a bit unreliable sometimes. If your space picks up 4G or 5G, have your cell phone handy to tether your connection to your personal hotspot, in case your internet goes out completely. And finally, let family members know when you’re recording, so that they can be especially quiet during your session, if you can’t completely isolate from household sounds. I like to turn on my “Voice Over Recording” sign that I hang on the door of my studio. It lets the family know when I’m in session and usually prevents them from pounding on the door asking for this, that, or the other little thing. Benjamin Franklin said that: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” While old Ben was actually addressing the issue of fire safety, his axiom applies to so many other things. Including voice over. A little effort up front can certainly save you a whole lot of pain later on.

Putting the Skeptics (and the IRS) to Rest My son recently graduated from business school and began a career in finance this past summer. Thanks to the pandemic, he’s been living and working from our home in Atlanta, his move to Boston postponed to the indefinite near future. While this hasn’t been how he had imagined starting his career, it’s given his dad and I an opportunity to really get to know him as a young adult. And we’ve had quite a few interesting conversations along the way. Our son is very pragmatic and sees things through the lens of his training in business and computer science: facts, numbers, profit vs. loss, etc. And now that he’s back home and we’re all living (and working) in close quarters, he’s turned his financial eye to my voice over work. He sees me recording in my home studio, talking about upcoming projects, and preparing marketing campaigns. He’s curious about the industry, the clients who hire me, the equipment and software that I use, and the overall shift to home studios (even before Covid) and away from recording in outside studios. And as a financial type, he’s particularly interested in its profitability, specifically the generated income, expenses, and return on investment. In that vein, he’s asked me how I distinguish between voice over as a business versus a hobby. The question took me a bit by surprise, because for me there has never been any doubt. Voice over is a passion of mine, I’m seriously pursuing it as a business, and that’s how I present it to anyone who asks. So, I was taken aback by the implication that, in his opinion, it may not be a serious business. Is it because many aspects of voice over are a performance art? Or could it be because I like to talk about how much fun I have doing it? That doesn’t make it any less of a business. But his question was sincere, and as I thought about it, I realized that it runs deeper than it appears on the surface. Just because something is fun, doesn't it mean it isn't to be taken seriously. In the minds of many people who do not work in the arts, a creative endeavor is something that is usually done on the side and in someone’s spare time. Things like painting, wood-working, playing a musical instrument, performing in community theater. Often there is no financial component in the artistic pursuit; people engage in it for its own sake and the pure pleasure they derive from it. Perhaps some money is made, but more often than not, these activities are considered creative expressions or hobbies. To a financier, running a “business” is a serious pursuit with the objective of making money while providing needed or desired goods and services. If it’s not successful and costs overrun expenses to the point of bankruptcy, the business is either reorganized or shut down, with the operator moving on to some other venture. Losses are cut as soon as possible and ideally, the owner/operator doesn’t let emotional attachments to the business get in the way of making prudent financial decisions. He who dies with the most toys doesn't always win. Of course, that’s often not the way it goes in the real world. People are usually very attached to their businesses and are not willing to easily give up on them. This is especially true for very small businesses in the arts, where the owner(s) may also be the artist(s) that the business is built around. The products of this business, whether they’re screenplays, canvases, stage performances, or voice overs may be constantly changing as the owner/artist grows in talent, technique, and perspective. The audiences or buyers may be constantly changing, too, so it can be difficult to tell if and when there is no longer a viable market for the owner/artist’s work. It’s totally subjective and can change in a moment. There’s also this, too, in the entertainment industry: many artists nurture the hope that the one big breakthrough or golden opportunity is just around the corner, and that all they need is a little more time to pursue their dreams. Dollars and sense My son’s perspective is to treat an artist’s business as any other: if a voice over business is not acceptably profitable within a certain amount of time, then the talent should just give it up and do something else instead. Well … yes and no, it all depends. (Don’t you just love wishy-washy answers?) There’s really more to such a decision than just this logic. First, though, let’s take the logical view and a good, pragmatic look at the expenses. Yes, there are start-up costs and the artist should have been well aware and prepared to fund the initial investment to get the business started. Money is as necessary as the time, talent, dedication, and plain old hard work that goes into a new venture. Ignore the financials requirements at your own peril or you may very well be bankrupted and looking for a “real” job in no time. Fun and Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs But there are other factors at play, too. And that’s because artists define success more broadly than most business people. Success comes in many forms besides financial reward. There’s the success of providing a much-needed service, such as those many non-profits perform. The success of creative self-expression and seeing it uplift the spirits of individuals and whole communities. And the personal success of responding to an innate calling to engage in such work. There are many artists who cannot imagine themselves doing anything else. If the question of “hobby vs. business” is posed to the person involved, the answer is most likely not going to be determined by applying outside financial criteria. The deciding factor will be the artist’s own subjective assessment, factoring in the importance, time, effort, and intent poured into it. Of course, the artist has to come to terms with the financial success his or her business may realize and then decide what to do about it. But remember: a business is no less a business, just because the owner has to take on a 9-5 job to pay the bills. It just may take longer to realize those measures of success, whether it’s money, a sterling reputation, fame, or seeing your work appreciated within your greater community. True, with less time to devote to it, it can be harder to operate, but many well-known businesses have started on the side like this, in garages, spare rooms, and even converted closets. Apple Computer, anyone? What's the point of a good argument without there also being a grey area to noodle about? Then again, hobbies can be financially successful, while businesses may not – there is no hard and cold rule to this. And a hobby can bring in a little side money without the hobbyist wanting it to become anything more. It can be a testing ground for an idea to see if it can be pursued more seriously and turned into a business. And sometimes, it works the other way, too: an unprofitable business pursuit can be reimagined as a hobby for the person to enjoy for its own sake, without the expectation of making money from it. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. For those aspiring to make voice over a full-time profitable business, and not just a hobby or side hustle, there are plenty of voice actors around the world serving as role models who make a very good living at it. Their careers often span decades, and they enjoy take-home pay in the six figures. And there are several good coaches who will show you how it’s done, such as Marc Scott and his VOpreneur group and Jay Roberts with Gravy For The Brain . So what's the verdict? My answer to my son’s question is essentially this: it’s up to the talents themselves to decide if voice over is a hobby or a business. If they’re doing it for fun and a little extra money, call it a hobby. If they’re actively pursuing new business, constantly training to improve their skills, making and marketing high quality demos, and trying to grow their footprint as a voice actor, call it a business. The only caveat I’ll throw out is to be careful when writing off your expenses when filing your tax return. The IRS has a very definite idea of what constitutes a business vs. a hobby: A trade or  business  is generally an activity carried on for a livelihood or in good faith to make a profit. ... You  do  not need to actually make a profit to be in a trade or  business as long as you have a profit motive. You  do  need, however, to make ongoing efforts to further the interests of your  business . Generally, the  IRS  classifies your  business  as a  hobby , it won't allow you to  deduct  any expenses or take any loss for it on your tax return. So, if you want to demonstrate to the IRS that you are operating a business versus a hobby, you need to be able to prove that you are working consistently to grow and improve it. The IRS will only allow you to claim losses on your business for three out of  five  tax years. If you don't show that your business was profitable longer than that, then the IRS can prohibit you from claiming your business losses on your taxes. Talk to your friendly neighborhood IRS representative for more information. Or google the details at irs.gov . So now we know that the financial analysts and tax specialists distinguish along – surprise, surprise – financial lines. The rest of us, however, can decide for ourselves how serious we are in pursuing voice acting opportunities and what we want it to be: a business, hobby, or just play. And my son? He’s done analyzing the ins and outs of my voice over business – for now – but he’s still interested in my work. Great! It’s always nice to have someone to talk to about these things. And who knows? Maybe one day when he’s a mogul with a successful company of his own, he’ll need my professional services.

Live Long Enough, and You Might Learn Something Sometimes it seems we’re just destined to learn things the hard way. I usually try to avoid that, but hey! life happens and sometimes it comes with a boot to the head. Sometimes, I’m clearly responsible. OK, that’s on me. I probably hadn’t thought a problem through properly, made a snap decision, and then walked confidently right into a non-pliable brick wall. Ouch, lesson learned. Sometimes, the boot came because I just didn’t know any better, but still … aarrgghh! Painful, aggravating lesson served right up. Thanks, life, I really needed that today. And sometimes, I think the universe just needs a conveniently-placed someone to come along at precisely the right moment and … BAM! … let a little steam off at that person’s expense. Whatever it is, hopefully the lesson (if there is one) will be learned and never have to be repeated. Some lessons make great stories and help to warn others who may themselves soon be in similar situations. Here are a few of mine, not that any are particularly earth-shattering, but hopefully may be somewhat entertaining: 1. Always consider the downside before taking a risk I learned this one the hard way when I was 9 years old. The much cooler, older kids in my neighborhood were showing off their vastly superior bike-riding skills by riding around without any hands on their handle bars. I vowed I was going to learn how, too, by going to the rockiest, unpaved road I could find and practice. I figured that if I could master that mess of a road, I could ride without hands ANYWHERE. Well, I don’t think I got too far before I was tumbling over those handlebars and landing on my forearm on a sizeable sharp rock. Nothing was broken, but the forearm I landed on was torn up pretty badly and I couldn’t even pick out all the smaller stones that seemed to be embedded into it. Somehow, I managed to pedal my way home, where my mother, who had a hard time dealing with blood, had to call the nurse living a few doors down to help clean up my arm and bandage it up. I never did learn to ride my bike without hands. And after that day, I was perfectly OK with it. 2. Delaying a nasty job can make it only worse I’m not on friendly terms with bugs. The bigger the bug, the more I try to avoid it. No problem when both the bug and I are outside – I figure that I’m on its turf. But when our encounter takes place indoors, specifically MY indoors, in MY home … well, that’s warfare. I’d like to be able to say that I’m one of those tender-hearted, caring Good Samaritans who would gently scoop up the offending insect and carefully place it outdoors. Nope. Well, the one exception is the stinkbug, mostly because it doesn’t have the sense to even get out of the way once it knows it’s been spotted. Those I will scoop up with a whisk broom and pan and fling out the door into the wild blue yonder. It’s up to them and their stinkbug deity-of-choice to navigate landing in one piece. But at least they have a fighting chance. Not so with roaches. Ugh! Can’t stand them and I do everything I can to prevent them from entering the house. But sometimes, I’ll come downstairs at night and flick on a light, only to freeze in horror as a roach and I suddenly stare at one another before each of us takes off in a different direction. The roach, for a dark corner or crack in the baseboard. Me, for a can of Raid or whatever else is handy. Sometimes that handy “whatever else” is a big, heavy book that can be dropped or slammed hard on top of the invader. It’s a good feeling to see it land on its target. The not so great part is knowing that, at some point, the book will have to be picked up. Then, unless I can get my husband to do it, not only do I have a dead roach to dispose of, I have a disgustingly smashed dead roach to deal with. Not to mention having to clean off the book. Lesson learned. I take the extra time now to locate that can of Raid. Chemical warfare has become my first and last weapon of choice: so much easier to clean up and dispose of the bug body. And I can only hope that the spray will kill off or at least deter any other vermin lurking about. 3. Know the limits of your household appliances Disposals are wonderful devices. You throw things into them, run the water, turn on the switch, and whoosh! All gone. Occasionally, the disposal is given more than it can handle, in which case the water won’t go down, no matter how long the switch it turned on. That’s usually not too much of a problem. Turn off the disposal, poke a knife down through the water, stir things up a bit, and it’ll generally resolve itself. But who knew that celery could bring a kitchen disposal to its knees? My husband was making a smoothie and throwing all sorts of veggie bits and pieces into the sink. Guess what we learned the hard way? Evidently, that the long fibers in celery pieces can unwind, twine around the disposal deep down in its mechanism, and bring it to a screeching halt. After fiddling with the disposal for a long while, we had to get a handyman to take the thing apart to get it working again. Lesson learned: throw everything larger than small scraps into a garbage can (or compost bin) and let the disposal mostly work on draining standing water from your sink. 4. “Avert the squirt” Here’s one from the new mommy playback. Parents of little boys learn pretty quickly to have a cloth on hand when you’re about to change a baby’s diaper. For everyone else out there, unless you’d like to risk getting a shot of baby pee straight into your face, quickly cover the baby’s nether region with the cloth as you’re removing a wet or soiled diaper before you can slide a clean one into place. Believe me, better a cloth than your face. Evidently, the cooler air triggers the baby’s system into releasing whatever has been stored in there as soon as the warm messy diaper is removed. You’re welcome. (I’ve also heard from other parents that baby girls can shoot a #2 horizontally on occasion, so be on the lookout there. Fortunately, I never experienced that, but I wouldn’t be surprised.) 5. Froot Loops do double duty I’ve passed this lesson on to every parent preparing to potty-train their little boy. Because it WORKS. Tired of seeing missed toilet shots on the bathroom floor? Even those little musical toddler potties won’t help if your little boy thinks it’s fun to test his aim everywhere but where it’s intended to go. Try this: throw a few colorful Froot Loops into the toilet and tell your little guy to sink them any way he can. The game of hitting and watching brightly colored Froot Loops bounce around inside the bowl beats just about any video game. And it’ll improve his aim, so good-bye messy floors. Just make sure your kid doesn’t reach into the bowl when you’re not looking and eats the Froot Loops. (Don’t ask.) 6. Introduce your kid to Monty Python at your own peril I promise, I’m done with the potty stuff. Moving on to the teen years... it’s great to find ways to bond with your child. When they get to the point where they’ve decided that you just don’t know anything relevant because you’re SO OLD, introduce them to Monty Python. They won’t look at you the same after that. My son and I especially had fun enjoying “ Monty Python and the Holy Grail ” together. Pure gold in there, plenty of fun quotable material, but just be prepared to have it hurled back at you at any given moment. For example, you’re having “the talk” and afterwards you ask, “Is there anything you want to ask me?” And you get, “Yes….” “What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” Even parents are allowed an eyeroll once in a while. 7. Don’t tell your daughter the mistakes you made at her age It sounds like a great idea, right? Have a serious conversation with your daughter and share your stories of the mistakes you’d made at her age. All so that she could learn from them and not repeat them, thereby avoiding the heartaches you experienced. Yeah, right. More likely, you’ll hear: “Well, you did (this, that, or the other thing), so why can’t I?!” Maybe it’s better to not reveal too much and let her think you were once a paragon of righteous living. 8. There is such a thing as a tennis widow You’ve heard of the term “golf widow?” That’s a woman who never sees her husband on weekends or even some weeknights, because he spends all his free time playing golf. I had no idea that tennis could be one of them. My hubby is on the tennis courts constantly in practice or in play, and when he’s not, he’s watching a tennis tournament on TV. And there always seems to be a tournament going on somewhere around the world. When I was dating, I knew plenty of guys who were totally into one sport or another, usually football, baseball, soccer … the usual suspects. All well and good, but it wasn’t my thing and I really didn’t see myself with a hubby who was that much of an enthusiast. Oh, well! Now that my husband’s retired, it seems like it’s tennis every day, just about all day. Tennis on TV, tennis talk at the dinner table. Tennis bags, racquets, clothes all over the house. I tried it myself, but while I’m athletic, I have some trouble with depth perception - and it just didn’t work for me. Truth be told, I don’t mind so much these days. Tennis keeps him busy and fit, and gives me some much-craved alone time to do the things I enjoy, like voice over and writing these blogs. 9. Don’t spoil your spouse … too much. It’ll come back to bite you when he retires. I’m busy trying to retrain my newly retired husband. It’s not going as well as I’d like. While he was working long, demanding hours, I took up the brunt of the household chores: cooking, cleaning up, laundry, etc. Partly because I enjoyed cooking and partly because I cared that all the other chores were done RIGHT. Meaning, my way and to my higher standards. Well, now I get what I paid for, because he’s not showing much motivation to do any more, now that he has plenty of time on his hands. I’ve moved on to the rewards system: Thank you for changing the burned out light bulbs! Thank you for taking out the mounds of dirty trash! Thank you for ordering from Amazon that one specialty item that you used to expect me to run all over town to find! Throw in a favorite dinner of his and he’s slightly more inclined to help out. I think this used to be called using my “feminine wiles.” Not to manipulate as much as to persuade, encourage, etc. But it might have been much easier if I hadn’t taken on so much as my own responsibility all those years ago. Ah, well, another piece of advice for my daughter … which is probably the one piece of advice she WILL take. 10. Be positive and never give up on yourself Life’s too short to create problems for yourself. Even when things are not going well (2020, anyone?!), there’s always the hope that things will get better. We live in a world of polarity, where in our lifetimes, we’ll experience at one time or another the height of joy and a fulfilling sense of belonging and its counterpart, the depth of loss and rejection. As a teenager, I knew two older women who had both experienced the loss of their adult children. One woman, whose daughter died by suicide, was so overcome with grief that she literally lost her voice from that point forward. Yet, she forged ahead and poured all her energy into her work. Her heart was broken, but her spirit was not, and she persevered. The other woman lost a son from cancer and simply could not cope. Her focus was on her lost son, despite having a close-knit extended family with her other children and grandchildren, most of whom lived nearby. Her loss defined her and she gave up on any future, and died before her time. Our story is not finished until we are gone from this life. Lonely men and women have found love in their later years. New careers have started after old ones fallen by the wayside. I’ve learned that a positive outlook works wonders for our health and overall well-being. There’s truly a Law of Attraction: that which we focus on and work to become, will draw like people and circumstances to ourselves. Positive or negative energy, it works in the same way. It won’t be an instantaneous experience - so don’t call me a Pollyanna! (link) – but it’s there, nonetheless. There’s a philosophy that says that we can manifest what we choose to create. Positive outlooks often generate positive results. And despite our ups and downs, we have hope that the future will be brighter. There’s a reason why hope was found still in Pandora’s box after she had released all the plagues and woes in the world. As long as we remain human, there’s always the hope – a positive energy – that th ings can work out.

The Difference and What It Can Mean To Your Next Project What’s the difference between a voice talent and a voice actor? Are they the same thing? Is there any real difference or is this just another case of “to-may-toe” vs. “to-mah-toe?” Most people use the terms interchangeably, as both refer to individuals who are (presumably) skilled and experienced delivering voice over audio recordings. The word “talent” itself is widely used in the entertainment industry to refer to actors and actresses, regardless if the medium is film, TV, radio, internet, etc. But there is a subtle difference between a “voice talent” and a “voice actor.” The difference is in the extent and scope of training and experience, especially in mediums outside of voice over. Harken back to your school days and think of those mathematical lessons describing concentric circles : two circles share the same center, but each with different length radius, meaning that the smaller circle is totally enclosed and is a subset of the larger one. In this analogy, I’m suggesting that, because of their extra professional training and experience, voice actors can be considered a subset group within the larger population of voice talents. I’m not saying that voice talents without on-camera classroom instruction may not have a great deal of voice over training, skill, and experience. Not at all! Many outstanding voice talents have never studied acting, per se, and their performances and careers have not suffered for it. But the voice actor, by virtue of having studied and practiced the art of acting, may have a deeper and wider range of performance skills to bring to the project table. Especially if they are also on-camera actors with experience in film, TV, and/or theater to complement their voice over work. Voice over coaches often advise their students to broaden their training with acting classes, as well as with improvisation (improv) classes. Acting classes teach and develop skills in scene study, script analysis, and character development, and students learn how to understand and interpret story lines, create emotional arcs for their characters, and live in the moment during their performances. Actors study monologues to understand their construction, to show emotional range for their characters, and to compel their audiences to keep watching with interesting but authentic choices. They also work with one or more actors in scenes taken from feature films and popular television shows to learn to give and take the emotional connection and interplay between their characters, and to move the storyline along in patterns that may seem to be a roller coaster one minute, a deep dive to the bottom of the ocean in the next. Have you noticed a common word in the above description? Emotion . Actors don’t tell their audiences the story, they show it. They take them along for the ride to feel and experience the ups and downs of their characters’ journeys. And all this translates beautifully to voice over. Voice actors do not just read or tell their clients’ messages, they live them, whether they are narrating corporate website videos or bringing to life characters in a video game. Here’s another word: Connection . It is so important for an actor to connect with the script, whether it’s for film, TV, a commercial, or an explainer video. The listener needs to believe that the voice IS the CEO of the pharmaceutical company introducing a ground-breaking new medicine. Or the mom in the carpool line who really thinks you can take a much-needed break from kitchen duties with this new family meal-to-go kit. Or the animated, anthropomorphic beastie trying to solve the same sort of problem that a five year old viewer is learning to deal with, too. The connection is emotional , and the listener can immediately tell if the message feels truthful or not and whether they should keep paying attention - or not. Actors are trained to express a wide range of emotion. And never to think that there is only one way or right way to interpret a script. The idea is to bring a version of themselves to the character, to respond with spontaneity and invention, while staying true to the written word and underlying message. Actors practice taking direction and making different choices: changing their characters’ motivations, needs, and wants to offer alternate interpretations to the written material. In this way, a scene could be performed as a heavy drama, a dramedy (combination of drama and comedy), or even as part of a horror film. It all depends on a chosen point of view, a character’s background and inclinations, and how that character will respond as the scene unfolds. Improv experience is also a wonderful tool that belongs in every voice actor’s handy-dandy kit. Improv teaches actors to live in the moment, always reacting to whatever is presented by the situation or by another actor. It opens actors to being more comfortable with their own spontaneity and humor, accepting a client’s redirects, and discovering nuances in the material that they may not have noticed before. OK, that’s all well and good, but you may be thinking: Cut to the chase. Why should I care and what do I get by distinguishing between the two? Fair questions, so here’s my list of the top three benefits you may get with a trained actor: 1. The additional level of training and experience that the actor can draw on will make your job easier . The actor may be able to nail the interpretation you’re looking for within the first take or two, plus offer additional options that you may not have considered earlier … and may like even better. 2. The voice actor may be easier to work with and direct . On-camera experience doubles the opportunity to learn from different types of casting directors and what they expect from their actors on set. Flexibility to adapt to different styles of direction allows the actor to pivot to your redirection that much more quickly and easily. 3. You’re getting more bang for your buck if you ever want to take your campaign to the next level and include an on-camera presence. You already have the actor who’s voiced your brand and understands your message, someone who knows on-camera work and is comfortable and experienced in it, all set to go. One final consideration: More and more on-camera actors are training in voice over, particularly during this pandemic when film and TV opportunities have significantly dropped off. Casting directors and producers who wish to reach out directly to voice actors might consider posting some jobs to on-camera casting websites like Actors Access. More and more voice over jobs are appearing there, and actors can directly submit their demos with their applications to audition. Additionally, casting directors can require that actors detail information about their home studio capability, training, etc. in the submission notes, before choosing which actors they want to audition. Happy hiring!