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Who Are You REALLY? Genuine vs. Generative Relationships

Authenticity is today's currency. AI bots, scammers, and freeloaders can take a hike off the nearest cliff.


I received a note in Messenger recently that just made my jaw drop. I've heard one or two other voice actors mention this sort of thing before, but the sheer audacity of this freeloader was just galling. Especially since I don't know him from Adam and I'm not sure how he found me. Clearly, he doesn't know the first thing about building a proper business relationship.


Most people, when they first reach out to someone, think to introduce themselves and their connections to whomever they're reaching out to, or perhaps how they come across their profile. Usually, there's a little conversation asking about the other person's work and explaining what they do themselves. Oh, no, this guy had a more direct approach:


Hey can u get me some voice over auditions or submit my voice over demo as a referral to your talent agency

Um, excuse me? You do know I'm an actor just like you and not a paid casting director, manager, or agent? You really think that someone who doesn't know you is going to start promoting you? Some random guy with no VO experience? Or training, in all likelihood? Yeah, right.... So much for the direct "it's all about me" approach.


Sorry, Charlie. That's NOT how you start a productive conversation. You see, we all have to build our own businesses. We put in the investment and sweat equity to train and develop industry relationships, and play the long game. No one does the hard work for us and no one should. Besides, it reflects very poorly on US to recommend someone who can't deliver the goods they promise.


Two men and a woman look incredulous, with the letters WTF above their heads.

While my male VO friends snorted and said they'd tell this guy to go off and do his own @#%& work, I thought, "OK, maybe he's new to the business and simply doesn't know how it works. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and show him how to get started." Honestly, cynical me doubted he just didn't know better, but being a mama who knows that we all spectacularly screw up now and then, I spent the time sharing some resources and giving him a few pointers. Things like the casting sites where he could find auditions, online resources for digging into direct marketing, and some pretty great places to take relatively inexpensive VO classes to truly up his game.


Nah. He knew what he was doing and was just looking for a short-cut through someone else's connections. Sorry, bub, not happening. Even if it were productive - or wise - to refer someone with no experience or training (it's not), he needed to know hat it cuts both ways. Could he hook me up with people ready to hire me on the spot? Arrange introductions with top bi-coastal agencies that want me on their roster yesterday? Crickets. Yup, curiously enough, he never replied. Huh.


Saved me the work of "unfriending" and blocking him myself. Relationship potential: Nada. Ejected from any future consideration.


 
Want customers? You've got to be your own person. Credibility is EARNED.
 

A weightlifting hoisting heavy weights above his head exemplifies the words "prove yourself."

When you put in the work and achieve results, you build credibility. Respect. Recognition for youraccomplishments. It's the same thing when it comes to using AI. Generative AI tools can save a lot of time and hard work when used properly under the direction of skilled human beings who add their own creativity and intention to the mix. They're not, however, a great content producer in and of themselves. And guess what? A lot of people can tell the difference.


Be genuine. Authentic. It's the only way to beat the bots.

Our built-in BS meters have ratcheted up a level or ten in response to an onslaught of generative AI. We have no choice. There's so much automation out there, throwing sales pitches (that predictably all sound alike) and other nonsense at us. ALL THE TIME. Scammers offering us so-called investment deals and special opportunities with limited availability. (Don't you just hate to miss out on those?) Or who try to scare us with imaginary orders placed in our names, worth hundreds of dollars that we will soon be billed for UNLESS we alert them of an error. Uh huh. Not all of them are from Nigerian princes, either.


(Heavy sigh) Carpal tunnel could easily set in from all the click-deletes going on. These "offers" fill up junk folders, text messages, and worse, direct messages on LinkedIn faster than they can be deleted. I don't know about you, but they come in faster than any filter I can throw up in defense.


So on the flip side, as a content creator and someone who organically engages in other people's posts, what does work? As far as I'm concerned - and I'm not alone in this - the answer is to show up as uniquely human.


 
Use AI to inspire and maybe even guide your work, but don't let it masquerade as you.
 

A white robot wearing headphones sits at a white desk working on a white laptop.

As a human being, reach out and develop relationships 1:1 by being genuinely yourself.


  • Get to know people through well-thought out comments on their posts and attendance at their events, both in person and virtually.

  • Share your own stories, successes and failures alike.

  • Show your humor, artistic touch, or whatever is part of who you are.

  • Show up as yourself.


If people aren't tired of fake interactions yet, they will. And I think we're all getting there pretty quickly. The more things become automated and fake, the more we crave the real, genuine thing. Don't be surprised when we eventually see the resurgence of the art of conversation. Live theater and concerts, too, not just the big Broadway shows or star-studded celebrity performances that draw thousands. Real things we can see, feel, and touch, including appreciating nature and a slower way of being.


It's balance. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with technology, but it needs to be balanced with human connection. It's why I think there'll always be a demand for human voice actors, storytellers, musicians, and artists, because there's a huge difference between an algorithm trying to simulate an emotion and the real thing. We inherently respond to the real, the genuine, the true. While we may be entertained by the fake, it won't really affect us where it matters: our sense of being. And intrinsically, we can tell a fake a mile off. We just KNOW.


This principle applies across the board, whether you're judging a performance or work of art or deciding where you're spending your hard-earned money. The cheap, fake look-alike, sound-alike may be affordable, but it's the real thing that's valued.


What do you think of AI-generated content?

  • 0%I can't tell if it's created by a human or AI

  • 0%I spotted that fake a mile away

  • 0%What, I've been interacting with a machine all this time?!


Likewise, we all interact with the fake on a fairly regular basis. Alexa or Siri, anyone? We know that they're alorithms and machines at heart, and they have purpose and value as a tool. But value as in a relationship? I don't think so. People being people, we do business with those we've come to know, like, and trust. That only happens when there's been time spent building a relationship and proving ourselves as credible, genuine, and worthy of other people's time and attention. Not from being bombarded with mass-produced solicitations, because it's cheaper and easier than reaching out one-to-one.


Authenticity. Just like most of us women will choose an honest-to-goodness diamond over a manufactured one, it's the real thing that counts. An original Picasso will always be worth more than a really good fake or even a limited print. And so too a real person reaching out will be more appreciated than a mass-produced email ... as long as they can get through the filters, but that's another conversation altogether.


Laura's Quick Tips

  1. Be yourself: do your own work - don't expect to use another person or AI to convince others of your skills

  2. As AI proliferates, the uniquely human will hold more value ("it's the real thing")

  3. It may get there soon enough, but right now we can pretty much tell when something's been generated by AI. It just doesn't quite ring true. That goes doubly for AI-generated comments left on other people's posts. Generic, unoriginal, and dull.


 

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I'm Laura Doman, a voice & TV/film actor and video communications coach. As an actor, I create memorable characters that tell my client's stories well, from the friendly CEO to your sassy best gal pal dispensing real-world advice. As a coach, I help you become more comfortable and charismatic on camera in videos, presentations, and online appearances.


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